In our last session in this series, we talked about the “big picture” and the nitty gritty details of planning your college search, and personally important questions. The recording highlights where the girls are in their process. We focused on:
- learning more about the steps in the process
- financing college and scholarships (blog posts on 2.25 & 26. 09, here)
- how to listen effectively to people’s opinions and yet make your own decisions
- realizing that colleges are seeking commitment and passion in you/your extracurriculars (it’s the quality of your engagement not the quantity)
- creating a plan and a timeline for the process.
Listen in on the call here, and see if your questions are getting answered. If not, post a comment and I’ll write back!
What a great chat! We devoted our time to discussing some key themes-and tensions that play out during the college search process… once we got past that little contribution from the dog!
- your growth and change
- maintaining close relationships with your family and becoming more independent
- using both your head and your heart to sift through the information you hear and learn to reach decisions that work for you
You can listen here
Being in the college search means being a detective
and finding out the “scoop.”
When I ask a group of teens the question, “What do you have yet to learn about finding the colleges that are the right fit for you?” there are a variety of answers… depending on the teens in the conversation.
Specifically, I have answered questions as varied as:
- What’s the difference between a college and a university?
- How do I handle a bad grade? A bad semester?
- It’s good to be involved in 6 or 7 extracurriculars, right?
- What if I don’t know/haven’t decided about my major?
- What’s the difference between early decision and early action?
- Why isn’t summertime a good time to visit colleges?
- What are schools looking for in students?
- Should I do an interview? When should I do the interview?
- What types of financial aid are available?
- Should I wait until after I am accepted at schools to visit them?
- What if I don’t like my roommate?
- What if I don’t like the school once I get there?
These are great questions because they are important to the teens I meet–and getting answers will lead to feeling more confident, which I believe, makes the process feel easier. Answers to some of these questions were discussed in the previous post, though what’s most important is…
- What are your questions?
- How are you going to find the answers?
- What resources are available to you?
Guidance counselors, family, friends, books, websites, coaches, and the colleges /admissions offices too! Tell me your questions! I’d be happy to email or talk about your concerns, so that you can approach your college search with a sense of adventure!
I love this saying! How true, right? I know that I approach tasks I like much more readily than those that feel difficult or boring. What about you?
How do you feel about searching for colleges that are a match for who you are, and what you want and need? Does it feel fun and exciting? Big and scary? Overwhelming and tedious? Maybe all those things?
How can looking for colleges that are matches for you be fun? By tapping into what you already do well. Here’s a question: What are your strengths? What do you do really well? I love helping teens get in touch with their strengths and then identifying how they can use them to make EVERYTHING easier… and more fun!
Take the next few minutes to think and then make a list of at least five of your strengths. If that feels hard to do, go here, www.authentichappiness.com and take the Brief Strengths Test. It’s free, takes about 20 minutes, and will give you great information-about yourself!
Now reflect on your strengths and how they show up in your life… here are just a few examples of strengths:
- Are you curious about the world and open to new experiences?
- Do you have great perspective? Do others seek you out to help them solve problems and gain another view of themselves?
- Do you persevere, finishing what you start, being flexible, realistic, and not perfectionistic?
- Are you kind and generous to others?
- Are you a leader, organizing activities and maintaining good relations among group members?
- Do you demonstrate self control, holding your desires, needs and impulses in check when appropriate?
How can you use these strengths to have more fun during your college search?
If you…
- are curious, use that trait to become a super sleuth, figuring out who you are, what the colleges are about and how you will create a match (more on that in the next post!)
- have perspective, maybe you want to approach your search as a problem solving exercise
- persevere, then you will be in great shape to mange the big and little pieces of the project
- are kind, then perhaps others will repay your kindness by working with you and answering questions
- are a leader, then your organizational and people skills will help you manage the pieces of the puzzle, the “paperfun,” and the people you will meet during this months long journey
- are a wizard at self control then you will manage yourself in the process, working when necessary, helping yourself feel more in control of the big picture and the niggling details, and stepping away from the search to take a break!
You may want to make a quick mindmap, web, collage of your strengths (mmmm, that must be your strength in creativity!) and keep it with your college search materials… to give you the lift you need when the task starts to feel too big.
I bet you’ll have more fun if you’re using your strengths to meet your challenges!
I wanted to share this information about my series for high school sophomores, juniors, and seniors at the JCC Rockland. It’s an interactive, four session program for students ready to learn about, and to begin, the college search and selection process. Every session we discuss new topics…
What is Involved in a College Search?
Tuesday, Jan 26 6:30-7:30 pm
Students begin by discovering what they know and what they have yet to learn about the college search, gaining confidence and clarity through the pre-planned exercises.
How to Make a Great Impression with Your Application & Interview
Tuesday, Feb 9 6:30-7:30 pm
Students will use a survey to identify their strengths and challenges, and then apply that knowledge to writing the application. We will also cover strategies for the interview process.
What are Colleges Looking For?
Tuesday, Feb 23 6:30-7:30 pm
What are the college admission personnel thinking about the pool of applicants? During this session students will gain a clear picture of what the colleges are looking for and how to put your best foot forward.
What Will the First Year Look Like?
Tuesday, March 9 6:30-7:30 pm
This session focuses on making the decisions about which colleges are the right fit and imagining life at college the first year; talking through what is new and exciting, and addressing potential challenges and fears.
It starts in less than 2 weeks!
Check out the full description and pricing here, Choosing the College That’s Right for You!
I LOVE this article!
I’ve been saying the same thing for years! I mean really, how many activities can you be truly committed to/involved in?
During my workshops and in my coaching, I always talk with students about their activities and involvement beyond the classroom… and a surprising number of students say that they participate in 6 or even 8 extracurricular activities. I’m straightforward, so I ask them:
- How much time and energy do you devote to each extracurricular activity?
- How long have you been a member of each of these groups?
- What roles do you play in each sport, club, and/or society? Have you taken on increasing responsibility in each activity?
- What are your personally contributing to each of these activities/organizations, and what are you gaining from your involvement in each?
I ask these question for a few reasons. I want students to become aware of how interviewers often perceive such activity. I am an alumni interviewer and I am not impressed by students that are over-committed, as it feels like the students are trying to hard to impress others (as some call it, “resume-building”). I have to say that I am a very high energy person, I own two different businesses and have volunteer commitments with five organizations-though only two of those organizations require significant time expenditures each and every month throughout the year. I think carefully before extending myself and I know that, in this instance, “More is not better.”
If you’re feeling over-extended, take the time to assess those activities that energize you-and deepen your commitment. I realize that walking away from/giving up personal commitments isn’t easy… yet you will be happier for it.
Embrace what makes your heart sing and let go of all the rest.
Just the other day I was reading a book that suggested mapping the unknown. Sounds almost impossible, right? I started by thinking about what I don’t know about a project I needed to start (working for The Climate Project as a graphic recorder for a World Cafe) … and the map began to take shape. In a few minutes I had created…
Now, I had a sense of my questions:
- What are the key elements of the process? The questions/the framework, the people, the budget?
- What is the scope of the project and what is the sequence of events?
- Where do I start, what are the first steps?
- How do I feel about this new and exciting project?
Now that I know some of the questions, I can search for the answers!
What’s your project that is “unknown” to you?
If you’re a senior
- Which colleges are the best fit for you? Where will you apply?
- Which of the questions will you address for your Common Application essay?
- What are your worries?
If you’re a junior
- What do you need to learn about the college search process?
- What are your questions and concerns?
- Who can support you during your search?
Taking the time to think through and map your ideas will help you explore the possibilities and may indicate the path for planning your way out of what is unknown to you!
If you have been accepted at your first choice college->congratulations! Be sure to stay on track, so that you are prepared for the years ahead.
If, on the other hand, the envelope that arrives in the mail today says… “We won’t be able to offer you a place in the the class of 2014…” it’s likely that you will feel
- hurt
- upset
- uncertain about yourself and your future.
While I can’t take away the disappointment, I can offer a few thoughts.
It’s personal-yet not completely!
Yes, you haven’t been accepted to next year’s class at that one school. It is impossible to determine with certainty why you were rejected, so be careful not to pick apart your effort. Remember, the admissions personnel have multiple requirements when assembling a student body, they need to: create a diverse class, be aware of the balance among the different degree programs, and mindful of the extracurricular interests. Every year they work to juggle these factors in light of the applicant pool.
Give yourself just a little time to feel the pain, then get into action!
- Take a critical look at the list of colleges that you originally compiled-the likelies, possibles, and reaches.
- Find a sounding board to review your choices-a parent, your guidance counselor, a coach (send me an email, I would be happy to talk with you). You may want to revise your list.
- Develop a calendar for accomplishing all necessary requirements for each school before the deadlines. There’s still plenty of time to apply to schools. Remember your common application is already done… you will need to submit test scores, letters of recommendation, and any additional essays, You can do it!
Take good care of yourself during this stressful time
Eat and sleep well, get your work done (so you feel that sense of accomplishment), and be sure to spend some time with folks who know and love you.
And so,the thought of the day is, perspective.
This was one letter. Apply to half a dozen carefully selected schools, and you will increase the possibility of positive outcomes!
As we roll into holiday season, I’d like to suggest that you carefully craft your answers to the questions that will invariably be posed to you by long lost (and out of touch) relatives… and work to avoid the snippy answers that spring to mind (and are written below). Strive for the high road and mollify the relatives!
If you are a senior, you will not doubt be asked
So, what line of work do you want to go into?
Oh, I thought I’d become a ______ just like you!
What colleges interest you?
Those that do not permit me to travel all the way home for fun holiday get-togethers like this one.
Where are you in the application process?
Yikes! Are you saying that I should be thinking about this over the holidays? Gosh, I took the SAT’s and started the Common App! It’s only November.
What will you be majoring in?
Rocket science.
How will you differentiate yourself from the crowd of applicants?
Dye my hair purple.
If you are a junior these questions may be posed
So, have you thought about college yet?
No, not one bit! I’ve forgotten all about those pesky standardized tests and have all winter and spring to chill before getting serious.
Do you plan on going where your mom/dad/grandmother/grandfather went?
Oh yeah, absolutely! I definitely want to do exactly the same work as s/he does/did.
I hear it’s harder and harder to get into colleges these days, so how are you going to make an impression?
See # 5 above.
I suggest that you stifle any impulse to use the quips above. My thinking is that having answers on the tip of your tongue will serve you well, so you might consider weaving these facts and ideas into your responses:
For many students, college is about discovering new interests and not focusing on a field of work too soon. What does going to college mean to you? There’s your answer!
Over 50% of students entering college do not know what major field of study they wish to pursue. Perhaps you’re just like them!
Colleges are looking for whole people-those who have consistently challenged themselves-both academically and extracurricularly. What makes you -> you? Have you taken increasingly difficult courses and done well? Are you a leader in school and/or in the community? Have you taken on significant projects, traveled, volunteered, worked? All these experiences make you unique and that is what you will convey in the application and during interviews.
A little forethought will go a long way in handing some of the vexing questions that arise on social occasions. Good luck!
…it’s easy to forget all the great things about our lives when we’re not actively doing them. Too often we get bogged down in day-to-day chores and rush to meet looming deadlines. One way to keep what we love to do present in our daily lives is to create Delicious (Daily) Habits.
Think for just a minute… What activities give you joy and energy? What do you love to do regularly? Is it listening to your favorite music, getting on Facebook a couple of times a day, working out, reading a book or your favorite magazine? Do you like to write in a journal, play an instrument, create artwork or connect with friends and family beyond a mere “Hello”?
So, as you think about what you love in your life, how can you incorporate more of those things into your daily life?
Here’s an example:
What I love about my life…
Delicious (Daily & Almost Daily) Habits
☞ Starting the day with coffee and a book in the early morning
☞ Catching up with the world-listening to National Public Radio, and reading the news
☞ Talking/texting/emailing our daughter at grad school
☞ Getting outside every day/Training by myself for my next fundraiser/racewalking event
☞ Connecting with family about the day
☞ Checking in with friends – email, text, FB
☞ Doing creative craft work/knitting, crocheting or sewing each day
☞ A glass of wine at dinner and a cup of coffee at the very end of the day
☞ Training with my Team in Training buddies every weekend
☞ Visiting museums & galleries/Seeing new exhibits twice a month with a friend or family member
Developing Delicious Habits, or daily rituals, is one great way to be certain that you recognize and experience daily some (of the many) good things that are a part of your life – and giving yourself time to recharge your batteries. They are anchors in our days, helping us to feel positive and connected with what matters to us.
What will this week look like? What will be your 10 Delicious Daily Habits? How many Delicious Daily Habits can you work into your day, comfortably? Does it help to plan for them, to write them down? Will you enjoy a habit with someone to ensure that it happens (to increase your commitment)? (If 10 Delicious Daily Habits feels like too much, then play with it! Change it to meet your needs-maybe 10 Delicious Weekly Habits, or Habits for a Fortnight… your imagination is the only limit to making this work for you!) The key is to develop habits – rhythms that keep you supported and aware of what’s important to you… because our habits reveal our values. What will be the impact of creating and then starting to live these Delicious Habits?
Excerpted (and updated) from, “Celebrating What You Love About Your Life!” by Jill Greenbaum, Editor, Play Full Out – It’s Your Life!, posted, www.womensradio.com
